Recently I heard a sermon in which the speaker said that women tend to be deceived more easily than men. The speaker hastened to say that he did not mean to offend, but it is not surprising that some women took offense at his statement.
As mature Christian women, we know that the truth may sometimes “sting” a bit, but we also know that it sets us free if we acknowledge it. So, instead of being offended by the idea that men and women may have different strengths and weaknesses, let us consider some ways in which we as women can overcome and grow and be much less prone to deception in certain areas.
When women look at the world from a human standpoint, it can at times seem very exciting, scintillating and desirable—with all of its abundance, choices and dreams of success, power and riches. If a lady is not careful, she can find herself being tempted to get caught up and enamored by the sheer magnitude of it all. In order to understand this more fully, we need to take another look at the example of mother Eve who was very easily deceived. We begin in Genesis 3:1. “Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, ‘Has God indeed said, “You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?”’” The serpent was drawing the woman (Eve) into a conversation with a lie. “And the woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, “You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die”’” (vv. 2–3). So the serpent, realizing that he had her undivided attention, seized the opportunity to deceive her with another lie. “Then the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will not surely die. (v. 4) For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil’” (v. 5).
By this time the woman was so intrigued by what she was seeing and hearing that she lost all sound reasoning and let the desires of her flesh take over. The serpent had convinced her that God was lying to her and was withholding the fruit of this tree from her because He did not want her to be wise like Him. So she allowed herself to be thoroughly deceived. We read in verse 6, “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.” And of course we know the rest of the story. It appears quite evident then, that this type of character weakness—being more easily deceived—has been a problem for women ever since the time of mother Eve (Genesis 3:13; 2 Corinthians 11:3).
In this modern day and age in which we live, there are various ways in which this character weakness can manifest itself.
The temptation to overspend. Most women I know enjoy shopping. Shopping can be an enjoyable experience, if one is balanced and can avoid certain pitfalls. For instance, walk into most any high-end department store and the first displays are usually designed to appeal to women. The purpose I suppose is to put the woman into a “shopping mood”—enticing her to spend, spend, spend! To shop to the max! First there is the cosmetic counter with its various beauty products to “beautify” and to make women look and smell fabulous. Then there is the dazzling display of fine and fashion jewelry, then on to the different brands of designer clothes, shoes, purses, scarves and all types of other fashion accessories. All of this can be attractive, tempting and deceptive to vulnerable women and can lead to overspending. I suppose that most of us women have spent more than we meant to on occasion, but if we can learn from our mistakes, then this experience can be tremendously helpful in the future.
Helpful questions to ask ourselves while shopping: 1. Do I really need this item? 2. Will I use this item on a regular basis or at least on occasion? 3. Does the quality justify the price? 4. Will I possibly regret buying this item?
In any type of shopping, whether it is for apparel, groceries, household items or other things, I have found that it is wise to follow these three guidelines: 1. Prayerfully plan ahead. 2. Exercise self-control. 3. Avoid impulse buying. These guidelines can be used to help avoid costly mistakes.
The misuse of charm and beauty. It is a well-known fact, and common knowledge, that women can use their charm and beauty to take advantage of others, especially the opposite sex. We read in Proverbs 31:30 that charm can be deceitful and beauty can be vain.
This type of behavior can even begin in childhood. While it is fine to be daddy’s little girl (girls can be so sweet and precious), it doesn’t take some little girls long to figure out how to take advantage of this close relationship in order to get their own way. I have quite often heard mothers smilingly say that, “She (the little daughter) has her daddy wrapped around her little finger.” While on the surface, this type of behavior may seem to be cute, humorous and harmless, in reality it is not and can possibly lead to a pattern of the misuse of charm and/or beauty, allowing the self to be deceived into thinking that this way is right.
Referring to the Garden of Eden again, one can only imagine the extent to which Eve must have gone, using her charm and beauty to persuade her husband, Adam, to partake of the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3:12). Being easily deceived, she may have meant well, but she paid dearly for her actions. “And the Lord God said to the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate’” (Genesis 3:13). “To the woman He said: ‘I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you’” (v. 16).
In 1 Kings 11:1–4 we read of the foreign pagan wives of King Solomon, who were not only deceived by the worship of pagan gods, but took advantage of King Solomon’s love and generosity, using their charm and beauty, no doubt, to persuade him to build temples to their pagan gods, turning his heart away from the true God. “For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David” (v. 4). These deceived women persuaded Solomon to veer from the path of righteousness.
The attributes of charm and beauty are gifts from God and if used graciously and in a godly manner can enhance a woman’s life and the lives of others, glorifying God in the process.
I have had teachers and mentors who, through the proper use of their charming methods of teaching, have influenced and encouraged me in positive ways and brought out the best in me. A mother can also use this tool properly to teach her children and bring out the best in them. This tool of charm if used properly, will garner many more positive results than demands will any day.
Unlawful assumption of authority. One of my husband’s relatives (now deceased) was a very self-assured and dominant type of woman. She had three brothers who served in the army overseas in World War II. They had a close friend who served with them. After they all came home from the war, this friend married the sister. Little did this friend know what was in store for him! I met them during the early years of their marriage. They seemed fairly happy in those early years, but as time went on, the wife became increasingly self-willed and controlling, especially after they became involved in a religion. Over the years she took complete charge of the family and slowly but surely robbed her husband of his confidence and manhood. It was a very sad thing to observe. The relatives would laugh at him behind his back and call him a hen-pecked (wife-controlled) husband. How ironic that this ex-soldier could fight in a war against Hitler, but could not find a way to deal with this controlling woman. This is an extreme example of the unlawful assumption of authority and this couple did not know God’s truth concerning the proper roles for husbands and wives. We as Christian women do know this truth and we realize that it is incumbent upon us to fulfill our roles (Ephesians 5:22–33).
Through the years in my husband’s service in the ministry, I have seen several situations where the wife of a couple who is interested in the Church has in the marriage assumed unlawful authority over the home. Then upon repentance, counseling and baptism, this upside-down situation is supposed to begin to change, but somehow never does. Even years later, there is still no sign of change in sight. The lady just simply refuses to hand over the reins and to fit into her proper role in the home. Sooner or later she will have to do her part to rectify the situation, if she is to grow in this area.
I have come to realize that to reason around God’s word or to continue to put off needed character changes is tantamount to skating on thin ice, which is a very dangerous thing to do. No one in the right frame of mind would dare to take such a risk. “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever” (Psalm 103:8–9).
So, as we wait for Christ’s return, if we are on guard against being easily deceived and are determined to make the needed character changes as God reveals them to us, we will continue to grow in godly character. When Christ returns in all of His glory, power and majesty, we will be tremendously glad that we prepared ourselves.