Every year as we keep the Feast, we gain new insights into our soon-coming role as kings and priests. We are reminded that we are learning leadership for the Kingdom of God. One key leadership concept is godly modesty. What does "godly modesty" have to do with leadership? Actually, quite a lot! We practice leadership when we teach and encourage modesty in our homes and families. We exercise leadership when we refuse to selfishly treat our spiritual brothers or sisters like "eye candy," but instead value and appreciate modest behavior. In this way, God's people are leaders when they take the initiative to wear modest clothing. Single men and women in the Church exercise leadership when they set high examples of good taste and decorum in behavior and attire, and encourage others to do so as well.
Our society has an enormous modesty deficit—we all know this. But we in God's Church have been called to set the pace as leaders in the coming Millennium, even in something as seemingly mundane as modesty. How can we do this?
Follow Jesus Christ
At the Feast, one enlightening exercise can be to imagine what Tomorrow's World will be like. What kind of transportation vehicles will be used? How will the economy work? How will cities be laid out? What will people's everyday lives be like? These are fascinating topics on which to meditate.
As part of our reflections, how often do we ponder: "What will people wear?" It can be hard for us to guess exactly, since we typically see the future through the lens of today. Today's typical styles for formal, casual and relaxed situations all seem "normal" to us. But would these styles seem normal to King David, Abraham or Elijah? Would they think that some of our styles today are strange, ridiculous— or even downright lewd?
Would society go back to "Victorian" coverings common in the 1800s? Maybe not. But, by the same token, Tomorrow's World certainly will not resurrect the "anything goes, I dare you" styles common in our 21st century. What does our world consider "normal" today? As Newsweek writer Kayleen Schaefer recently explained, the growing trend even in bridal fashion—once symbolizing purity and modesty—is "cleavage- or lower-back-baring bridal gowns that might get a gasp from conservative relatives." Schaefer explains that a growing fad for brides in the last few years is to pose in a pre-wedding photo shoot "in lingerie or nothing at all and give the prints to their grooms" ("Like a Virgin No More," Kayleen Schaefer, June 4, 2009). Do you think Jesus Christ would simply bring over many of the seductive styles and trends of today for a thousand more years in the Millennium?
How we dress is important. In the parable of the wedding supper, Jesus explained that one of the guests was rejected for not coming in appropriate attire (Matthew 22:11–13). As God's ambassadors of the coming Kingdom (2 Corinthians 5:20), we must understand and practice modesty now, so we can teach it in the future.
Yes, more than we might sometimes realize, God does care what we wear! As Dr. Roderick C. Meredith explained several years ago in his sermon, "What Would Jesus Really Do?"—which should be available as sermon 402 in your local sermon library—"We ought to have high standards… in the way we act, in the way we dress, in the way we talk, in the way we conduct ourselves, the way we think… How would Jesus dress? How would Jesus' sister dress?... Would Jesus' sister be showing off her body in some semi-vulgar way? No, she would not!"
Many people who call themselves Christians give lip service to the question, "What would Jesus do?" But if we truly seek to follow Jesus Christ, we should also be thinking, "What would Jesus Christ wear?" That should guide our thinking and educate our choices, at the Feast and throughout the year.
Lead in the Home
At the Feast, whether we are leading or following, we are learning about leadership. When we serve as ushers, or help park cars, or staff an information table, it is easy to see how we are practicing leadership skills. But even when we are the ones being guided by ushers or parking attendants, we are learning important lessons of leadership, particularly by setting the example of a cooperative and supportive attitude.
Leadership is not always a "public" role, however. Even at the Feast, fathers and husbands have important duties of leadership in the household. Paul explained that the husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23) and the guide of the whole family (1 Timothy 3:4). One aspect of this leadership is in matters of teaching modesty—by word and by example.
Fathers, do you monitor what your children wear? Do you think about which clothing styles are good for them, and which might not be? As head of the home, this is your responsibility. Fathers may be more comfortable dealing with their sons' problems, but they also have a responsibility to daughters. As author Meg Meeker explains, "Let [your daughter] know that modesty is just another form of respect… and that she shouldn't follow fashion trends and flaunt her sexuality just because others do… When you teach her that modesty is an important way to protect and honor her integrity, she'll understand that too, because kids have an innate sense of modesty. You have to be your daughter's protector and fight a culture that lies to her about sex and denies her right to modesty" (Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: Ten Secrets Every Father Should Know, pp. 96–98).
Give your children encouragement to wear well-fitting, quality clothing that is appropriate for who they are. Be patient to teach decorum and good taste. Teach them that what is important is not how "adult" or "cool" they can look, but rather how their character shines from within. Encourage your wife to support you, and to lead and inspire your children by her words and example, as you lead your family in practicing God's way of modesty.
Proper leadership must be applied in love. If you are a father, it is your responsibility to lead. If you are learning to someday "rule" a city, are you practicing now to "rule" your own children with love, gentleness and supportiveness (1 Timothy 3:5)?
Husbands, your wife is not your child! Yet you still have a responsibility to her as her leader. Appreciate her beauty! Compliment her on her appearance, and shower her with praise! Make sure she knows (yes, you have to tell her!) that you think she is the most attractive woman on earth. Consider buying her a new dress for the Feast, as your budget allows. Encourage her to feel good about her appearance. But if her clothing is too revealing in public—at Feast activities or at Church services—show that you love her by letting her know. Love her enough to gently and tactfully ask her to wear something else, for her sake and others' (Leviticus 19:17).
Wives—follow your husband's lead. Appreciate his desire to lead in the right way. Appreciate the fact that he is watching out for you. Children—appreciate and follow your father's lead as well! He cares for you. It is his job to protect you as you grow up. Husbands and fathers have an important leadership role to play in encouraging modesty in the home—at the Feast and throughout the year.
Honor the Hoary Head
God commanded the Israelites to "rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man" (Leviticus 19:32). But this scripture represents far more than just a physical action. It represents an attitude of respect for the values and perspectives of the previous generation.
Do we honor the older generation in how we dress? Paul told Titus to teach "the older women likewise… that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed" (Titus 2:3–5).
Younger ladies, consider what Paul is saying. While styles and fashions may change with time, the older generation is charged with setting the example for younger women about life issues—in principle, certainly including dress. Paul understood that the senior generation provides the Church with stability and wisdom. Do not automatically discount what the older ladies might say (or think) about dress. Do not dismiss their opinions just because they are getting up in years. What they say and think should be treated with great respect and honor.
For the older ladies, this can be an opportunity to show true leadership, in love. Be thoughtful and tactful. Do not offer advice unless it is asked for. Get to know the younger ladies personally. Ask God to help you develop a real relationship with them. If they feel you really care, they may feel comfortable enough to confide in you and open a door for you to give meaningful, gentle and timely advice. These lessons of applied leadership will then last us for a long time—a thousand years and more!
Love God, and Love Others
The two great commandments, which Jesus outlined in Matthew 22:37–39, are: "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself'." We must evaluate how we dress in regard to both of these commands.
It is interesting to note how Paul dealt with "meat offered to idols." Though his conscience was not personally troubled by eating meat offered to idols, he said, "If food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble" (1 Corinthians 8:13). Each of us should strive to apply this principle to our dress and decorum at the Feast, and year round.
For example, we should be careful at the Feast not to serve alcohol to (or even have it around) any brethren who may be struggling with a drinking problem. Even though alcohol consumption might not be a problem for us, we should be willing to refrain from serving or drinking alcohol because of others' sensitivity to it.
Consider this, too: Statistically, addiction to pornography is a bigger problem than addiction to alcohol! The American Psychological Association Help Center reports that in 2006, nearly 14 million adult Americans had an alcohol-abuse disorder. By contrast, in the same year, almost three times that number—40 million U.S. adults—admitted they regularly visited Internet pornography websites.
Ladies, is it "loving" to your brother to wear clothing that is overly suggestive or revealing? What if he is struggling with overcoming an addiction to pornography? We would never want our thoughtlessness to be a catalyst for a brother to sin—that would be a serious offense (Matthew 18:6). Furthermore, the patriarch Job said, "I have made a covenant with my eyes" to keep away from sexual lust (Job 31:1). It is important that spiritual sisters in the Church see the importance of supporting their brothers' desire to keep their "covenants with their eyes," and not unwittingly cause them to sin.
The Feast of Tabernacles teaches us that when Christ returns, the saints will have the great honor of reigning with Him over the earth. This year, as we go to the Feast, let us not only think about being patient with the waiter at the restaurant, kind to the hotel staff and friendly to the people who work in the meeting hall. Let us all exercise leadership in the area of good taste and decency in how we dress (1 Timothy 2:9). After all, we will all soon be teaching modesty—along with a whole new way of life—to human beings for a thousand years. Let us be sure we are practicing that way now!